My New Dutch Friend

vs.



For over a decade, Oliver has established himself as my Dutch friend. His reign has been largely unchallenged. No longer.

Ruben Martin has emerged from relative obscurity to rally for the title of Tom's Dutch friend. But how does one determine who is the better Dutch friend? Geographic separation prevents a Thunderdome-esque competition ("Two dutchmen enter, one leaves."). As a consequence, I am forced to evaluate the two firstly on their Dutch merits and secondly on the characteristics I look for in a friend.

Listed below is a 12-round competition pitting the two against each other.

Ruben / Oliver
1 Born in Holland / Born in Holland (Winner: Tie)
2 Can speak Dutch / Has heard Dutch spoken (Winner: Ruben)
3 Mother is Dutch / Father is Dutch (Winner: Tie)
4 Is not a Dutch citizen / Is a Dutch citizen (Winner: Oliver)
5 Has a Dutch name that is also a sandwich / Middle name is Jasper (Winner:Tie)
6 Happily married / Happily dodging commitment (Winner:Ruben)
7 Homeowner / Renter (Winner: Ruben)
8 Been described as a "stand up guy" / Been described as a "low-life piece of sh*t" (Winner: Ruben)
9 Lives in Seattle / Lives in Europe (Winner: Oliver)
10 Visited Amsterdam / Visited Amsterdam with me (Winner: Oliver)
11 Watches UFC / Watches "To Catch a Predator" (Winner: Tie)
12 Thinks superheros are childish / Has considered naming his first born Peter Parker Thomassen (Winner: Oliver)

The final tally is, unfortunately, a tie. Both possess Dutch characteristics and qualities that make them strong friend material (inclusive of Oliver's occasional defects in morality). And despite the fact that neither were aware that they were in a competition for my friendship to begin with, I am certain that both will take this to heart and step up their efforts to be my friend.

Internet Stars

I think this might beat out the "Best of Wickerman" compilation as my favorite YouTube video of the moment.

"You better be wearing a cup, cause I will kick you there."

There's a lot to be said about the audacity of martial art schools and instructors. Needless to say, this movie looks hilarious.

Yo, Joe!

So it looks like a live-action G.I. Joe movie is coming and coming right soon. Here's the first photo of who else but Snake Eyes:



Oh, and I will be seeing this movie regardless of how awful it is. In fact, I'd prefer it to be awful. Awfully entertaining, that is.

Daily Routines of the Great

I found this nominally interesting article on 10 lessons on working from some of the greats (e.g., Ghandi, Churchill, Beethoven).

In looking at the lessons, I was reminded of the scene from Office Space where Peter and his neighbor are discussing what they'd do if they had a million dollars, to which Peter responds

Peter Gibbons: Nothing.

Lawrence: Nothing, huh?

Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.

Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.

I think talent and success affords flexibility. Thus when successful people have light work schedules, they are seen as cultivating their creativity. If they weren't already successful, I believe they would be considered lazy sacks.