Vaudville Picard

When Oliver tried to get me into Star Trek: TNG, I thought it was because the show used aliens and science fiction to explore social, moral and political themes.

Had I known it was because of this, I would have started watching a hell of a lot sooner.

Don't Hassle the Hoff

First off, I celebrate the man's entire collection. I found this entry on Wikipedia and I thought it was hilarious:

In early 2005, it was reported that Hasselhoff had teamed with rapper Ice-T and was planning to record a rap album under the handle of Hassel the Hoff. On Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Ice-T confirmed that he was not involved in any such project. In June 2006, Hasselhoff confirmed that the project was a "prefabrication"...

And then there's this.

Signs you're destined for greatness (or utter failure)

You play chess...alone. Now I'm not talking about playing the computer here. I'm talking about having a chessboard out, sitting on one side, making a move, and then walking to the other side to respond.

You've stood at a bridge and thought of jumping. This may sound macabre, but the greats have all lost it all at one point, contemplated suicide, and then come back better than ever. The trick here is to not, in fact, jump.

When you're alone, you pour two drinks--one for yourself and one for your imaginary opponent. Note: This sign includes clinking glasses in acknowledgement of your adversary.

So far, I've done two out of three. I'd like to think I'm on my way. To what, you say? I'm still uncertain.

Soccer tonight

My work soccer team makes their triumphant return to the pitch tonight. If it turns out anything like this, I will be a happy man.